Have you read any books by Chizuko Ueno? This is a reference from a movie yesterday.
Thinking about it, I haven't watched much this year. I flipped through my chat history with Teacher Li and realized that recommending Chizuko Ueno to her was already in 2022. It feels like a long time has passed, even though it hasn't really been that long, but my memories are starting to blur. Suddenly, I can't recall the names of certain people, just like that day when I suddenly realized I had forgotten Teacher Li's phone number, and I felt a wave of panic. I forgot them, and they forgot me. Are we going to forget each other like this in the rivers and lakes?
When did I start reading Chizuko Ueno? Most likely a few years ago when the podcasters recommended her. I guess I was influenced by the random fluctuations of the hosts; I can't remember clearly and regret not noting it down at the time. I started listening when they still called it surplus value. In the evening, I listened to a podcast about the lockdown, and halfway through, I suddenly got disconnected. At this moment of typing, it feels like the anger from that time still lingers in my chest. The sound of pots and pans being struck between buildings still echoes in my ears? "It's all fake!" A shout, like thunder. These memories will probably blur too; I should write them down as soon as possible.
As for why I read Chizuko Ueno? When I read Chizuko Ueno, I felt that I would become better, and then someone would love me. Falling in love without understanding self-love, so I empathized too easily with Xiaoye. Unrequited love, enduring pain, suddenly awakening, finally gaining a bit of inner peace. Now, after watching the movie, my fantasies have been shattered; it turns out that peace is not real, and I still want to share beautiful moments with someone.
The Golden Horse Awards are announced today; congratulations to Lou Ye for "An Unfinished Film." It may take a long time to see the movie, or maybe I can see it next year? This land is full of miracles; what is impossible? Actually, it doesn't matter whether I see it or not; just remembering those days is enough. That's the purpose of the movie, right? If I really have to say, my current life feels like filming a movie every day, and I am also a supporting character in the film.
Thank you to "An Unfinished Film," thank you to the Golden Horse Awards, thank you to Taiwan. Thank you to everyone who contributed.
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